The Easy DMV Fall Guide
Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure to have a fully optimized and memorable fall. This isn’t a new phenomenon for me but as the #christiangirlautumn and orange everything propaganda begins to rear its ugly head, I find myself running to TikTok to for information on crowded festivals and deceptively far pumpkin patches. With that being said, I wanted to make a cheap and easy guide to enjoying fall in and around Washington D.C. and I hope you find something on this list that catches your eye:
Maryland Renaissance Fair - The Renfaire is a celebration of medieval culture in which you can dress up like a peasant or fairy and enjoy all that medieval life had to offer. This includes watching a jousting tournament (all on horseback), eating big ass turkey legs, and spending money of various goods. What people won’t tell you is that it’s insanely expensive. If you’re not careful, it can put a semi-permanent dent in your finances (ask me how I know). Plus admission is $30 per person and you have to get tickets weeks in advance when the season picks up. So my tip is that you should bring $250 cash with you when you go and stick to that. You should be able to eat and drink as you please and maybe have some money left for like a cute little ring or something. The line for the ATM is usually over 30 minutes long and you don’t want to waste time like that. Also, you will be outside the entire day so stay hydrated and bring wet wipes for the portapotties.
Beer Gardens - D.C. is lousy with overpriced beer gardens. There’s at least 3 per neighborhood in Northwest alone! While it may not seem exciting, they all usually have specials and events for Oktoberfest and Halloween including contests and discounts for wearing certain outfits. My tip is, get the Bavarian Pretzel with the beer cheese. Yes, they all have a Bavarian Pretzel with beer cheese on the menu and it is the perfect food for a night out. It’s all carbs and usually huge so it’s a whole lotta pretzel. Additionally, it’ll keep you full and standing which is important for a night out. They are usually thawed out instead of baked fresh so it’ll come out quick! Also as someone who finds beer gross, these places usually have normal rail drinks as well as specialty fall drinks like a spiked apple cider and who doesn’t like that.
Festivals - There are tons of festivals in the city and they are typically free. This includes DC Art all Night and the World Cultural Festival which are this weekend, Adams Morgan Porch Fest and Georgetown Fall Market on the second weekend in October, and bar crawls and embassy trick or treating for Halloween. If you want to know more about these events I would check out Sam your DC Bestie on TikTok, she seems to be in the know. However, the my advice would be to avoid going to any festival within the first hour unless there is a limited edition thing you’re planning on waiting in line for. Things are always very chaotic at first and if there is a line for admission, you’ll be in the worst of it. Also I recommend getting a hand fan that you can fold up. They usually run you about $15 on amazon and even if it’s cold outside, you will probably be hot surrounded by all those people. Lastly, don’t bring cash. A lot of stands don’t have change on them because of the hassle of carrying cash so safe yourself the stress.
National Gallery Nights - On October 12th, the National gallery of Art is hosting their Nightmare at the Museum event as a part of their National Gallery Night series. As anyone who lives in D.C. knows, gallery nights are notoriously hard to get tickets for but for this event, they have an open to all portion. This includes a showing of Ghostbusters (I would’ve preferred Halloweentown but that’s just me) and a DJ set. I have no advice for this one other than it looks really family friendly so if you have kids this would be a great. They are also hosting Indigenous Futures night on November 9th, but you will need to battle for tickets for that event.
The DC Arboretum - The arboretum is the most romantic free spot in the city and now that ‘bug flying into your eye’ season is over, it’s a nice place for a pic. My recommendation is to use the R and Pl place entrance for easy access to parking. There are also gardens that you can look around for free and it’s a good way to learn about native species to the area.
Pumpkin Patches - The best pumpkin patches in the area are not in city limits. Sorry. But seriously, the farms that have all the fun fall trappings such as hayrides and corn mazes are at least an hour away from the city. My favorite is Montpelier Farms which is all the way in Upper Marlboro by Six Flags! So if you don’t have a car and you don’t want to get a pricey Uber, I recommend taking the blue line to Largo and then the C22 towards Collington. If you get off at PG Blvd & Commerce Drive, you can walk the rest of the way pretty easily. I know this sucks honestly, but if you time it right you could get there and back for less than $15 dollars or if you want to order a LYFT from Largo (which is what I would do, smh) you could still save money.
Walking Around the City and Looking at Big Houses with Fall Leaves on the Ground - This is by far my favorite fall activity. It is completely free and you can make fun games out of it. One game I like is “Guess That Mortgage” where you guess the cost of the house and then look up a nearby house on zillow to see if you were close. No matter how high you think it is, you’re always low-balling it. Another fun one is “Roommates or Family” where you try and guess whether a bunch of roommates are renting the house of a family based on the outside decor. I recommend walking around Kalorama, the Logan Circle Neighborhood, Woodley Park, and especially, Capitol Hill. Wear bright clothing cars in some of these neighborhoods have been known to speed!