Welcome to the Spooky Spectator, a special Halloween feature in which I attempt to watch as many scary things as I can stomach just to rate them here. This includes anything from Disney Halloween specials to new horror classics and everything in between. I may even rank all of the projects at the end, who knows. My goal is to get to at least 25 shows/movies this October so wish me luck and let’s get started:
Midnight Mass (2021):
Midnight Mass is a terrifying look at the nature of faith and redemption in a small, seaside town. Full of the poetically parallel dialogue Mike Flanagan is now known for, this mini-series shook me to my core and made finishing my own braids that much harder. It’s a marvel what they’re able to accomplish in just 7 episodes and the ending will leave you feeling satisfied and contemplative. I wish I had watched it sooner. (8/10)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1995):
There really isn’t much to say about this one other than yikes. This is truly a lazy, typically mid 90’s, Z-movie mess of a sequel. There’s no clear direction, barely any budget, and almost none of the passion that made The Texas Chainsaw Massacre the classic it is today. The only bright spot is a surprisingly good performance from a young Matthew McConaughey. This movie is also plagued by the desire of the studio to milk a franchise completely dry with cheap stunts, a phenomenon that plagued 90’s cinema much like it does today. The plot is empty slasher fodder so I won’t even go into it but if you want some spooky background noise while you clean your house or host a dinner, this is it. (2/10)
Alice in Borderland, Season 1 (2020):
Before the One Piece live action blew up this year, Alice in Borderland proved that you can actually adapt a manga into a live-action successfully. This show follows gamer and slacker Arisu as he and his friends are transported to another terrifying world through a metro station bathroom. This show tackles themes of resilience and social hierarchies as our characters compete in harrowing death games. Without spoiling too much, episode 3 is an absolute DOOZY so make sure to have your tissues and comfort snacks handy. (7/10)
Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities, Episode 1(2022):
This episode follows a curmudgeonly racist as he goes about buying storage units and selling off their contents. Played expertly by Tim Blake Nelson, you watch as our main character comes into contact with an otherworldly horror. While I wish the episode was a little more fleshed out especially at the end, this entry in the series is a solid opening to what I hope will be a great watch for the season. (6/10)
Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated, Episodes 1-3 (2010):
This show is Scooby-Doo as you know and love it but with a fun twist, an overarching mystery that confounds the gang throughout the season. For fans of Gravity Falls, you will recognize the fun and spooky tone as the mystery continues to build. I’m excited to uncover the secrets lurking in the corners of Crystal Cove and I highly recommend this as a family friendly watch. (6.5/10)
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009):
I was a proud hater in middle school so I avoided the twilight books and movies like the plague. I wanted to be edgy and subversive so I read ‘Uglies’ and watched WWE and I thought it made me cool and different. Turns out, it just meant I missed out on what was probably the most fun franchise to come out of the 2000’s. First, I have to say yes, it is bad but only if you’re being self-serious about it. Yes, Bella is delusional and Edward and his family are absolute assholes and it goes unacknowledged but that’s part of the fun. I know that Jasper belongs in a cage and Jacob’s wig is the best thing about the whole movie but it ads to the charm. I didn’t even mind the constant wincing everyone seems to be doing. It’s one of the last true blockbuster ‘so bad it’s good’ movies and I can’t wait to see more. Younger me really robbed herself of a lot of belly laughs. (4/10)